


Let's Hear It for the Ladies

by enigmaticblue



Series: A Series of Unfortunate Events [4]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Background Relationships, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-13
Updated: 2013-12-13
Packaged: 2018-01-04 12:01:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmaticblue/pseuds/enigmaticblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With several Avengers out of commission, Fury calls in the Cavalry for an important job.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Hear It for the Ladies

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically sheer competence porn with ladies being awesome.

Natasha meets Melinda May in the lobby of Stark Tower. “May. Good to see you out of records.”

 

May smiles. “I would say that it’s good to be out, but that’s not always true. It is good to see you, though.”

 

Natasha pushes the button for the elevator. “Do I need to warn you about Stark?”

 

“Coulson filled me in,” May replies. “And I’ve seen the reports. I can handle him.”

 

“No question,” Natasha agrees.

 

“Is Banner as scary as they say?” May asks. “I’ve heard he’s here full time now.”

 

Natasha hesitates. “Banner? No. The Hulk? Yes.”

 

May doesn’t reply, and the elevator doors open. Bruce and Tony are in the living area, using the holographic projector to bounce data back and forth, while Pepper taps away at her phone.

 

Natasha immediately picks up on the fact that Tony is still wearing his hearing aids, which means he still hasn’t fully recovered, although she’d heard from Clint that he would eventually.

 

“Natasha, right on time,” Pepper says. “Thank you for doing this.”

 

“I should be thanking you, Miss Potts,” Natasha replies with a smile. “This is the best lead we’ve had in months.”

 

Pepper shrugged. “When you’ve been kidnapped and experimented on by an evil terrorist, the run of the mill psycho really doesn’t faze you.”

 

Natasha sees May suppress a smile, and she knows they’re all going to get along great.

 

“Who is this?” Tony asks, his voice pitched just a little louder than usual, even for him, although the tone is full of his usual flirtatiousness. Bruce touches his shoulder, and Tony lowers his voice slightly when he says, “I don’t think we’ve met.”

 

May raises an eyebrow and replies in a perfectly modulated voice, “We haven’t.” She pointedly doesn’t introduce herself.

 

“Do they teach you that in spy school?” Tony asks, looking at Natasha.

 

“I have no idea what you mean,” Natasha replies, deadpan.

 

Tony waves a hand. “The Ice Queen thing.”

 

“No, that’s just a natural reaction to you,” May replies coolly.

 

Tony puts a hand over his heart. “How you wound me! I’m injured, you know. You could be a little nicer.”

 

The smirk he’s wearing suggests that his feelings aren’t in the least bit hurt, though.

 

May ignores him. “It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Banner, Miss Potts.”

 

Bruce nods, although he looks a little uncomfortable. From what Natasha has seen, Bruce gets a little twitchy around anyone from SHIELD who isn’t an Avenger. Getting ambushed by Hydra certainly hadn’t helped matters, although Clint is now a big fan of his.

 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, too, Agent May,” Pepper replies, which tells Natasha that she’d read the security packet Fury had sent her.

 

Tony never likes being shut out of the conversation, and he clears his throat. Natasha expects his usual obnoxiousness, but he says seriously, “Hey, you guys are going to take care of her, right?”

 

And Natasha remembers why she likes having Tony on her team. When he puts his mind to it, he’s a really decent guy.

 

“She’s my friend, too,” Natasha says, knowing that will mean more than telling him it’s their job.

 

She can immediately see that it’s the right tactic, because some of the tension leaves Tony’s shoulders, and Pepper looks pleased. “How is your hearing?” Natasha asks.

 

Tony taps his ear. “Getting there. Good thing Bruce found a way to keep me sane in the meantime.”

 

“Was that even an option?” May asks without changing expression.

 

Bruce chuckles, and Pepper’s shoulders shake with suppressed mirth. Tony frowns, and Natasha realizes that he’s still parsing others’ words. “Funny. You’re a funny lady.”

 

“If you weren’t heading out, I’d offer to get you a drink,” Bruce says. “But seriously, take care of her, huh?”

 

Natasha nods. “Of course.”

 

Tony hugs Pepper tightly. “Be careful, okay?” he says, just loudly enough for Natasha to hear.

 

“Of course,” Pepper says. “As careful as you are when you go out in the field. Or when you’re in the lab.”

 

Tony frowns. “Seriously? You’re going to bring that up? That wasn’t even my fault!”

 

“So you always say,” Pepper teases, and then kisses him. “Bruce, don’t think you’re getting off so easily.”

 

Bruce willingly goes in for a hug, too, whispering something in her ear that makes her laugh, and then she kisses him lightly on the lips in a gesture that hints at intimacy.

 

Natasha glances at May, who raises both eyebrows and smiles. Natasha has worked with her often enough to know that means, “Oh, I would totally watch.”

 

There are a lot of reasons Natasha and Melinda May get along _really_ well. There are just as many reasons Fury rarely sends them on the same mission together.

 

He probably wouldn’t have sent them on this one together, but Clint’s ribs are still healing, and the other Avengers really aren’t suitable for the role for one reason or another. Fury needs people who can blend in on this op, people who aren’t readily recognizable.

 

May is a natural selection to send in with Natasha, given how badly SHIELD wants this guy, and the fact that she’s back in the field. Fury had told Coulson he would just have to do without her for a few days.

 

Since Coulson is still on Fury’s shit list for blowing a hole in the side of the Bus, he hadn’t raised much of a protest.

 

Natasha settles next to Pepper in the back of the limo and easily falls back into her role as Pepper’s personal assistant, while May sits across from them in a perfectly tailored black pantsuit.

 

“What can I expect from this guy?” Pepper asks.

 

“For your sake, I hope he’s all talk,” Natasha replies. “For our sake, I hope he makes a move and we stop him before anything happens.”

 

Pepper frowns. “I’m still not quite sure what this has to do with me.”

 

May says, “Roland Dennis believes that he could have been Tony Stark. In fact, he thinks he’s smarter than Stark, and he’s obsessed. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem, but he’s decided to fill a vacuum that Stark left when he stopped making weapons, and he’s actually pretty good at it. He’s been supplying Hydra and AIM, and a few other organizations.”

 

“I don’t make weapons,” Pepper protests, and then stops. “He’s obsessed with Tony.”

 

“And you’re the CEO of Stark Industries,” May adds. “We’re not sure he’ll try to do anything but make contact. He has delusions of grandeur.”

 

Natasha nods. “That’s why we need him to feel as though he can approach you. The news reported Stark’s injury, and Dennis knows you’ll be there without Stark. We think he’ll try to hire you.”

 

Pepper grimaces. “Why me?”

 

Natasha exchanges a look with May, and knows they’re both thinking the same thing—Aldrich Killian.

 

“It’s the price of being both beautiful and competent,” May replies solemnly.

 

Natasha looks at Pepper, who hitches a shoulder. “It’s a burden,” Pepper replies, and then smirks.

 

As far as assignments go, Natasha has definitely had worse.

 

~~~~~

 

Pepper has been invited to give a keynote address at some kind of retreat for high-level executives. From what Natasha understands, it’s mostly a chance for them to drink a lot and make backroom deals, and it’s skewed heavily male.

 

Roland Dennis will blend in easily, since pretty much everyone at the conference is a middle aged white man.

 

“You know, I’m not really feeling as though we blend in,” May murmurs as Pepper climbs the steps to the large stage.

 

Natasha is standing by the stairs on one side, watching the room closely, scanning the faces for any sign of Dennis. May is on the other side of the stage on coms. “Doesn’t matter,” Natasha replies quietly. “They might suspect us of being bodyguards, but it’s expected after Killian.”

 

“And given Dennis’ profile, he’ll underestimate us,” May replies.

 

Natasha’s lips curl in a smile. “ _Everyone_ underestimates us. It’s part of our charm.”

 

May hums in agreement. “Do you want to get a drink after this?”

 

“Absolutely,” Natasha replies. “Pepper might want to come.”

 

“That would work.”

 

Pepper finishes her speech to thunderous applause from the audience and begins to walk towards Natasha. May makes her way across the floor in front of the stage, and Natasha waits until Pepper has nearly reached her before she begins to lead the way out.

 

They’re in the hallway leading into the grand ballroom when the hair on the back of Natasha’s neck stands up, and she sees a metal object in the middle of the floor.

 

The buzzing noise comes first, followed by paralysis. She doesn’t even have time to hit the panic button before blacking out. Her last thought is that Clint is never going to let her live this down.

 

When Natasha wakes, it’s to near-total darkness. Her hands have been secured behind her back by some kind of twine— _amateurs_ —and her ankles are bound together as well. She’s face down, and she feels cool tile under her cheek. There’s the smell of cleaning products, and a warm weight on her legs, and she thinks, “Janitorial closet.”

 

She isn’t entirely sure whether being tied up in a closet is a good or bad sign, but she’s pretty sure she’s with May, which means they won’t be in here long.

 

May lets out a breath on a hiss. “Shit.”

 

“An accurate description,” Natasha murmurs her agreement.

 

May wriggles a bit. “Did they get all your weapons?”

 

“They were thorough,” Natasha admits. “But they left my shoes on.”

 

Warm approval colors May’s voice when she says, “God bless wardrobe.”

 

“Oh, these are mine,” Natasha says. “I never go out without them. Can you reach?”

 

“I’ll manage.” May moves cautiously, rolling off Natasha’s legs carefully. They’re both professionals, and even whispers in an enclosed space give an idea of how big the room is. In this case, the answer is “not very,” and neither of them wants to risk alerting their captors that they’re awake and moving around.

 

Of course, there’s no way to tell if those responsible are anywhere nearby.

 

“I really don’t want to tell Tony that we lost his girlfriend,” Natasha admits.

 

“Or Dr. Banner,” May murmurs, and Natasha hears the snick as May detaches the built-in blade from the heel of her pump. “They looked pretty cozy, too.”

 

Natasha grimaces. “What was that thing in the hall? Have you seen anything like it?”

 

“No, but I can’t wait to find one so I can give it to FitzSimmons to figure it out,” May replies, and then grunts. “Hands are free.”

 

Natasha frowns. “No offense to your team, but I’d rather have Tony and Bruce look at it.”

 

“I think that means you have to tell them that we temporarily lost their girlfriend,” May replies, beginning to work on Natasha’s bonds.

 

“I’ll leave that part out,” Natasha replies dryly.

 

May gets through the bonds on her wrists, and Natasha rubs them ruefully as May finishes freeing her. “Is this going to wind up being a ‘my team is better than your team’ thing?”

 

“It doesn’t have to be,” Natasha replies, removing her other heel and detaching the blade from that shoe. She really loves these pumps. “Especially since we _are_ the Avengers.”

 

“I suppose I can’t argue with that,” May admits.

 

Natasha presses her ear to the door. “Fury might have asked you to join the team if you hasn’t been stuck in records.”

 

“I like driving the Bus,” May says. “Anything?”

 

“Voices,” Natasha murmurs, testing the doorknob. It turns easily under her hand, and she smiles. She loves being underestimated.

 

She feels May at her shoulder and knows that she doesn’t have to worry about her; they just have to find Pepper.

 

Natasha cracks the door slightly, and sees industrial grade carpet of the sort they use in office buildings. It’s not from the hotel where the conference is being held, and she thinks it’s probable that they’re in Dennis’ office.

 

SHIELD had known he had a base of operations in New York City, but he’s a paranoid bastard, and had hidden his tracks.

 

Now, they know why. He’d apparently decided to go the caveman route and drag Pepper back to his lair.

 

“No guards?” May breathes.

 

Natasha shakes her head, and shares a smirk with May. In the faint light from the hallway that seeps through the crack in the door, May selects a bottle of cleaning fluid and uncaps it, and then they creep out, following the sound of voices down the hall.

 

A man’s voice is the first one that Natasha can hear clearly. “I’ll treat you better than Stark ever could.”

 

“I know you would,” Pepper replies, her tone conciliatory. “I’m sure you’re not as difficult as Tony can be.”

 

That has the ring of truth, and Natasha suspects that Pepper is riding the fine line between authenticity and placating the madman who’s obsessed with her.

 

“I can offer you money, travel, everything you want!”

 

Natasha glances at May, who rolls her eyes. Apparently Dennis had completely ignored the fact that Pepper already has those things, plus she’s dating a guy that’s mostly sane and not supplying terrorists.

 

And, while Tony might still only be _mostly_ sane, he uses his powers for good and not for evil.

 

“You know, that’s a really tempting offer,” Pepper says, and then there’s a cry of pain.

 

Natasha runs through the door, May close behind, and she sees Dennis in a heap on the floor with Pepper standing over him. There are two guards inside the room, and Natasha executes a flying kick that takes out one of them who’s lunging for Pepper. She senses May behind her, going for the second one, and Pepper kicks Dennis in the head again.

 

“Clear,” May says calmly, and when Natasha glances over her shoulder, May looks completely unruffled as she straightens her suit jacket. “I say we leave getting knocked out and stuffed into a janitorial closet out of our reports.”

 

Pepper directs a contemptuous look at Dennis. “Definitely. Tony can be so overprotective.”

 

“And Bruce?” Natasha prompts.

 

Pepper’s mouth curls in a smile. “We haven’t had an opportunity to test that out. But I will say that a very long dry spell tends to make someone very creative. Unless that’s just Bruce.”

 

May looks slightly wistful. “God bless a creative bed partner.”

 

“What are we going to do with him?” Pepper asks, looking at Dennis.

 

“We’re going to call for backup,” Natasha replies. “We’re going to tell them that Dennis propositioned you, and we all came here, and then we took him and his guards out.”

 

May looks momentarily torn, and Natasha knows that she’s usually a stickler for accurate reports; so is Natasha, but they have reputations to maintain. “We’ll have to tell Fury the truth,” May points out.

 

“He can classify it as Level 8 only,” Natasha replies. “Although it wouldn’t hurt for everybody to find out that Pepper took out Dennis.”

 

Pepper looks pleased with herself. “After Killian, I’ve been taking lessons.”

 

May nods. “I’ll make the call.”

 

“That _was_ impressive,” Natasha says while May is on the phone.

 

Pepper shrugs. “I’ve been the damsel in distress before. I didn’t want to do it again.” She sighs. “There are times when I miss being a superhero, though. Not that I wanted to turn into a human bomb, but I really liked the rest of it.”

 

“Being a superhero is not without its drawbacks,” Natasha replies, although she can’t blame Pepper. She’d probably feel the same way if their positions were reversed.

 

May approaches them. “ETA is five minutes. They were already close. Apparently Fury is pissed that we didn’t call in sooner.”

 

Natasha smiles slowly. “What do you say we go out for that drink once the scene has been cleared?”

 

“I hope I’m included in that invitation,” Pepper says.

 

“Definitely,” May replies. “And I think I know a place where it’s ladies’ night.”


End file.
